This woman on Tiktok said something that blew my mind. She said, “Men are attracted to women, they don’t like them. There’s a difference.” I leapt to say no you’re wrong—to mansplain!—but as I began to think about it, I realized that she was right. Once she decoupled attraction to women and liking women, I saw the whole thing differently.
I do not write this to suggest that I’m better at this stuff than other men. I’m not. There’s plenty of internalized misogyny inside of me. It can be hard to see sometimes. I’m just trying to put the pieces of my world back together after this realization that being attracted to women and liking them in general is not at all the same thing. I recently learned this and I’m trying to figure out how bad I am. I mean, I am endlessly attracted to women, just like so many men. Their beauty, their hair, their sweetness, their feminine energy, their… femininity can be intoxicating. But what about all the women that a man is not attracted to? Does he see them as fully human? For some men yes, but for some men, no.