Hiphop's Gay Rapper Panic of 1997 Is So Embarrassing
Our response to the article "Confessions Of A Gay Rapper" was not our finest moment
Hiphop had a whole gay panic in the 90s and looking back on it now is so embarrassing. In 1997 there was an article called Confessions of a Gay Rapper in a tiny magazine called One Nut, that was its real name. The article starts “‘So what is it you want to know?’ he asks in a cool voice that sounds like he is trying to put the moves on me. Or maybe I am just a bit paranoid.” What? That’s a bizarre way to start because it focuses us on the sexual paranoia of the writer who’s freaking out because he’s talking to a gay man. So we’re starting from a weird place.
The story said the rapper was from the projects and he believes only men really know how to please men. He said a nut is a nut which I guess is like love is love. But the gay rapper in the story was anonymous. The story suggested that he was hugely popular. Of course that created a whole guessing game throughout hiphop culture. Everyone was asking each other who is the gay rapper? We had a virtual Salem witch trial which is horrifying. Wendy Williams, who was then a radio superstar, poured verbal gasoline on the fire by amplifying the story and alleging that there were lots of gay rappers and their women were clueless.
Suddenly, for a moment, it was all people in hiphop talked about. Not who’s the hottest MC but who’s the gay rapper? We sat there guessing about people’s sexuality. We were terrible. Were there openly gay rappers in hiphop then? Absolutely but they were super underground. The article purported to be about someone more mainstream which had us looking at people we loved and wondering about their private lives. Was there even a real rapper behind the article? At this point I doubt it. Looking back at it now it doesn’t feel real. I think it’s fiction. But when it came out we all behaved badly.
In 2003 I tried to write about gay rappers with a bit more grace. An openly gay man named Caushun was trying to break through. He was a celebrity hairdresser, he’d done hair for J-Lo and Sarah Michelle Geller and Kimora Lee Simmons. He called himself “the weave king,” and he was definitely a b-boy from the same hood as Biggie Smalls, and he had a gay twang and soft wrists and great flow. He said he wanted to be hiphop’s gay Jackie Robinson. He was pushing to get his album out just ahead of Pride Day but I don’t think that album ever came out.
Researching the story led me to meet Tim’m West, a great rapper who is HIV positive and also a schoolteacher. He was part of a crew called the Deep Dickollective. In one of his songs he spoke about how the struggle inside his body is far scarier than street violence. He said ''I got T's and disease fightin' for possession of me / How am I gonna be scared of Glocks you pops, G?” I thought that was a really smart way of putting it.
West said he was unable to freestyle before he came out because he was afraid of what he might say. Once he came out he became a much better MC. Another gay MC told me, “Sometimes I look at these M.C.'s who I know are gay and they're off the hook and I'm like, damn, wonder how dope will they be when they're truly free?” Another told me he knows popular rappers sometimes go to gay clubs and he knows some of them have had sex with his friends. He said having occasional gay sex does not make one gay. I agree—he’s talking about being part of a culture or at least being in the mindset of a community. But some straight people will hear that and say, so there are gay rappers.
I asked Tim’m West, if hip-hop was ready for a gay MC (this was many years before Lil Nas X and Frank Ocean and Tyler the Creator and…) West said: ''The question is irrelevant. The openly gay MC is here. Will you or will you not respond to him? If you don't, I'm still going to keep making rhymes. I'm not interested in whether or not America is ready for me. I'm here.''
Dope post. Hip Hop homophobia is so connected to its hatred of women. Sometimes we miss the real enemy we are partying with.