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Lynn Reuschell's avatar

I don’t know a single person who deals with chronic pain who hasn’t felt the frustration of not knowing what else can be done; who hasn’t wanted a solution other than having to continue living one more day “like this”; or who hasn’t had to fight against a medical establishment that refuses to look for at least a treatment that works if not an answer.

I hope we can start talking about not only how insurance companies fail people but also how chronic pain can wear a person down — and if this is what it can do to a young yt man with so many resources at his disposal, what does it do to millions of others who do not have the same privileges?

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Margaret’s Kitchen's avatar

I don’t condone murder, but hear me out:

I had a total knee replacement in April, 2023, followed by months of agonizing pain and the inability to fully straighten or bend my leg. I told my surgeon time and time again, that something was wrong. He blew me off every time, for 7 months. He told me pain was part of it and to “give it time”. I tried to get second opinions, but no surgeon would see me until I was one year post-op, due to insurance standards.

I finally got one to say yes in Dec., 2023. They immediately did X-rays, ordered bloodwork, and scheduled a CT scan. In order to do any of that, they had to argue with the insurance company for approval. In that first appointment my new surgeon suspected my femoral implant was installed with an inward rotation, causing my extreme pain and range of motion issues. The results from the CT scan a week later confirmed it was rotated 6° (A LOT for that procedure), and could only be corrected by taking the entire replacement out and redoing it. Which we did, in June, 2024.

This summer, after one replacement, a year of excruciating pain, a second replacement, and months of PT, one month of serial casting, another stay in the hospital for a manipulation under anesthesia, three months off work (one without pay, two at 60% pay), having to use a cane for a few weeks just to walk, and requesting a demotion at work because I felt I could no longer do my job to the best of my ability (a loss of $25k annual salary), I ALSO WENT DARK.

I absolutely see how this could happen. I am a very active, athletic, 48 year old woman who could no longer walk to the bathroom or sleep, without pain. Everything I enjoyed about life is a question mark now. I withdrew from EVERYONE. I didn’t answer my phone, I never left my apartment, I’d go days without a shower or brushing my teeth. I was in a dark, dark place. I sat and cried every damn day, due to my anger.

My leg still won’t bend or straighten like it should, I walk with a limp, I couldn’t run to save my own life, and it will probably stay this way the rest of my life. This is all residual complications from the first surgery in 2023. I could TOTALLY see how a medical situation could change who you are and make you angry enough to snap.

*This is not a cry for help. I just went back to work yesterday, and while I still have pain, I still limp, and I am still angry, I needed to get back to some kind of normal life. Plus, I have a therapist (the physical AND mental kind).

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